tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10995142.post2361603928348973285..comments2023-10-16T07:17:33.136-04:00Comments on Linda's Notebook: The Purpose of FriendshipLinda J. Meikle (Former Linda Cash)http://www.blogger.com/profile/16338237643711239397noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10995142.post-67233283299024793512008-03-15T10:26:00.000-04:002008-03-15T10:26:00.000-04:00Some excellent points. The "control" experience a...Some excellent points. The "control" experience affects so much. We see what control issues do to others all the time, but have such difficulity observing and learning how it creates an effect in our own.<BR/><BR/>Th subject is endless. From how people in power use control to gain for themselves (New York) to how we (you and I) use words to feel in control. :)Linda J. Meikle (Former Linda Cash)https://www.blogger.com/profile/16338237643711239397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10995142.post-81512811763968441782008-03-14T13:20:00.000-04:002008-03-14T13:20:00.000-04:00Unbelievably well expressed, Linda. You have a way...Unbelievably well expressed, Linda. You have a way of translating heart language into English language that is a real gift.<BR/><BR/>While I agree with all that you have expressed here and find it very compelling, I venture to add just a small bit for what its worth. Being stimulated by such thoughtful insights I pondered along with you the tension produced by the relationships you described.<BR/><BR/>Interestingly something like this just happened to me a few days ago that has continued to cause me to think and ponder and query as to why it even stays in my attention so much when it should be a passing event that I should immediately forget. I was in a Walmart in Virginia and had just picked up my favorite kind of hand lotion for my very rough hands. I overheard a man nearby ask another stranger where the hand lotions were located and then on an impulse I decided to move over to the main isle and intercept him as he went by to recommend my favorite kind so he wouldn't spend maybe years trying all sorts of disappointing kinds. I asked him if we was looking for hand lotion and pointed him toward the spot where he could find the Neutragena and I almost opened the one I already had and let him try it. He told me he couldn't even feel his fingers anymore and was glad for my advice.<BR/>What bothered me for days afterward was my clinging feeling that I wanted to know what happened after our ways parted. I felt so selfish realizing that I was grasping for recognition and appreciation for doing something that I should have left as an impulse of kindness. When I read this post it fit perfectly my musings about this event I have been processing quietly for several days.<BR/>What I would like to add is that maybe it is not really that we need to let go of friends - ever - but that we must learn to let go of our desire for control over the relationship. I am coming to be intensely aware the past few days of the fundamental nature of the false belief that we have to be in control. That desire lies at the root of most of the terrible conditions that we see all over the world. It happens in the smallest of ways as well as in great wars. Our desire to control others instead of holding relationships in an open hand of freedom is the cause for much of our pain and disappointment. That's what I perceive from my point of view.Clay Feethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15811502760379647181noreply@blogger.com