March 30, 2007

Father Time - Part 2

(This morning my computer won't add pictures or use any of the buttons like spell-check, bold or the link button at the top of my screen. )

...While my private duty case is in the hospital, and with Jim working now, I’ve suddenly felt the freedom of setting my own schedule, and it’s almost overwhelming.

My sister, on the otherhand, isn’t working after a series accidents and surgery. She loves being at home. She does her shopping, learns new things on the Internet, hangs out with her friends and makes a comfortable home for her family. Time Management comes naturally for her.

Me. I feel guilty over so many things. A reflection over feeling responsible for the protection of Sandy and myself while growing up, I’m sure. But, feeling guilty for staying home and doing whatever you want, isn’t natural! So I’m compromising and trying to get just enough done to feel good about my day and still enjoy the roses!

Remember that quote: Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda.? Meaning. "Don’t whine about it!"

In order for me to feel satisfaction for a ‘day well done’, I need to focus on allowing myself to keep busy but also give myself permission to do things I enjoy without feeling so awful about it.

So I make a list:

Will do today.
Should have done yesterday!
Can do tomorrow!

Last fall I planted a large planter of tulips on our second-story balcony expecting beautiful blooms this early spring. During the winter, I noticed the eaves of our building poured rain water over into the planter keeping it full of water or ice all winter. I knew the bulbs would rot in the moist soil, and I kept telling Jim we needed to put holes in the planter to drain it. The drill was in storage, and we kept putting it off, ‘until the weekend’. Guess what? It’s spring, and all my bulbs have floated to the top of the pot and there they lie! Woulda. Shoulda. Can’t do tomorrow!

For months Cingular has been charging me for Mapquest. $3.99 a month. My cell phone won’t run Mapquest, and I should call to discontinue that service. How many months have I paid that $3.99? I dare not think how many. TODAY I’m going to make that call! Would like to do today. Should have done yesterday. CANNOT do tomorrow.

Many nights after a long day at work, my hips hurt so badly I can’t sleep. I toss and turn to find a comfortable spot. Jim says, “Take some Motrin.” He knows that helps my pain. But, I lie there thinking it will quit soon or that I’ll fall asleep. Never happens. If I want that pain to stop, I need to get up and take the pain pills. Sometimes Jim gets up and brings them to me. Then I feel bad!

"Would like a pain pill now. Should get up and take it. Cannot get relief if I don’t take action!" (Good to have a loving husband who will do it for me.) If we want to see action in our life, we need to TAKE ACTION.

Jim’s off today, and he had several important things planned for this morning. He must go to the IRS for more forms so he can finish up taxes. He should take some important paperwork to a client. And, he planned to return some books.

Well, once again he was not able to sleep one wink last night. It’s a worry for us when he can’t sleep. We need to address that serious medical issue in his life, but it’s something foreign to us and he doesn’t like going to doctors and taking all the tests like a sleep study in a medical facility for a night.

So, he finally falls asleep after 6 a.m. this morning, and all those things he should have done this morning will not get done.

This problem takes big action, serious planning and difficult follow-through. I’m sure everyone has something like that in their life. It might not involve being able to sleep. But it’s something you know has to be confronted, and you keep putting it off.

So, eventually, our life can be make up of several goal oriented ‘lists”.

On my goals-list I have many things I want to start doing or do better!

Weekly visits to Curves.
Regular haircuts at the same place.
Appointments to the dentist.
Make inroads into photography contacts.
Go to Social Security to inquire about retirement.
Visit former patients I know who are lonely.
Clean out the bathroom cabinets.
Organize my walk-in closet.
Make a list of all my photography equipment.
Finish setting up the studio.
Move my keyboard piano away from the window.
Bring my refrigerator in from storage.
Give away all my clothes that don’t fit anymore!
Play the keyboard piano!
Finish my second book.

I have to do more than make a list. I have to TAKE ACTION on my list, or it will never happen.

Today’s List.

Mail those packages. (Will do today)
Dentist appt. at 1 p.m. (Will do today)
Water the indoor plants. (Should have done yesterday.)
Get uniforms ready for the weekend job. (Will do today)
Call about MapQuest. (Should have done yesterday.)
Play the keyboard. (Can do tomorrow)

But before even thinking about my today’s list, I had to decide how much time I could stay at the computer because I love learning and writing. I could do that all day! As I passed by the computer, I turned it on. Almost sitting down at the keyboard, I scolded myself. "No. Get dressed and take the dogs out first. Then decide what you're going to do this morning, this afternoon and this evening."

Sheba and Ching-Ching are now happy at my feet. I'm fully dressed for the day and the packages are all set to mail. I'm off running my errands before the dentist appointment in 1 hour and 40 minutes! See ya later!

Take Care on the Journey,

1 comment:

The Cat's Meow said...

I only scaned over Fater Time II, but, I like playing on the computer too.
I have to force myself to do my back therphy each day so I've set 11 am during the Price is Right for that chore. Then I can eat an go back to playing on the computer.
Also cleaning, doing landry and messing with my plants in between times.
Have a FUN day and take time for yourself.
Love Ya