April 9, 2007

Thoughts Alive

This morning as I was debating taking down the story, "Shattered Glass", (I hate confrontation), the thought spoke into my head. "If you give the heat, you must take the heat." I'm sure I'll be taking some heat for the story, "Shattered Glass" but in fact, I had a dream about Shattered Glass before it even happened. (I didn't understand it then, but I do now.) I'm going up against a mighty big mountain to speak up about the Worthington SDA Church, but maybe there are other women like me who will never speak up for themselves. At least I have the courage and an avenue to do so.

Someone once said, "Never underestimate the power of a woman (scorned)".
I also offer, "Never underestimate the power of the pen".

Now for another great website that I discovered (by accident?) this morning... It's my POSITIVE message for the day!!! ...Click
HERE. (You'll have to enter a name and email address because she wants to avoid SPAM.)

Take Care on the Journey,
~Linda

7 comments:

Clay Feet said...

I'm not sure why you would feel you need to remove the story, but I also think I may understand somewhat. But I have not read anything that you have any reason to be ashamed of or apologize for; you have simply expressed your feelings and perceptions at a time when your emotions are very strong and slant your expressions somewhat. I, for one, am glad you have been so open about these experiences from the very start. And while I am disappointed at the duplicity and self-serving spirit of various people in the local church, I am not surprised either.
While I do not harbor the open hostility that your sister feels toward the church (understandably), I too am usually very disappointed in just about every church that I visit, Adventist and otherwise alike. At the same time there have been times of true ecstasy and genuine worship that I have enjoyed over the years. However those have been few and create a deep hunger for more.
I firmly believe God is far more disappointed and hurt by the atmosphere found in most churches than any of us are, but He also has this amazing and effective plan up His sleeve to bring about the impossible - that fellowship of hearts that everyone of us crave so deeply. It is going to happen. Just remember to stay open to love. Your comments about forgiveness are very true. It really hurts to forgive while people are still abusing us. But I have found that it huts much longer to not forgive and ends up destroying me far more than anyone else.
God has people, secret people like He told Elijah about when he thought he was the only true believer alive, that are waiting quietly to connect with other hearts. If we stay real and open we will get hurt. But only those who are willing to risk getting hurt are capable of enjoying the unique emotions of deep connectedness with other hearts taking the same risk.

Bringer of Peace said...

I was pondering how to reply. I wanted to let you know that you are so special. I wanted to let you know that to be hurt is not unique to your situation (been there, had that done to me so am not a stranger to that type of circumstance). I wanted somehow to try to convey that God has been hurting too even in your unique situation. Then I read the comments from 'clay feet'. Yes, he is my brother (so please understand that I am biased) but he articulated what I am learning SO well I 'second' what he wrote.

Here is one other thought I have been recently grappling with also. No one can truly forgive from their heart (maybe mentally but I'm not sure about that even) until they have experienced and received love. I can't give you an apple until I have one to give. so I can't 'give' you love until I have received love. And when it comes to other-centered love (God's kind of love) only when I have experienced that kind of love in my life am I able to 'give' it 'for' whatever else someone offers me.

Thanks for the 'new' web link too.

The Cat's Meow said...

I'm not sure why you'd want to take down your heart felt comments. You have the gift of the pen and you live in the great USA where you can write you TRUE feelings about anything. If someone doesn't like it, don't read it!!!
You had your heart & soul hurt by being lied to, I mean forgotten,by the SDA pastor. You'd think getting more members would mean more bennies for the church, more MONEY!! Lucky for me I no longer believe in GOD or the Bible. To me the bible is no more then a book of folk tales. It's no better then that book of fairy tales Grandma wouldn't let us read. I did find it and looked at the pictures, when we lived in Avon Park tho.
Clay feet said we're not shit, he's half right. Yes there is a few people who truly love you, and would do anything possible to keep you safe, loved, happy, and be your best friend. Thats the people who KNOW us. Then there is people who care for ONLY them self,
they aren't even nice to the ones they claim to love. Then you have the better-then-thou Christians.
If you don't believe like me your a sinner and going to burn in hell.
They can do whatever they want, because all they have to do is pray and God will forgive them.
I think you should live your life not doing things you have to be sorry for. I still believe on the whole, the world don't give a shit about you.
Love ya
KEEP OUT of churchies!!!

Linda M. said...

Thanks to all of you for taking time to open your heart in love and take my hand as I travel a bumpy road.

As you said, Bringer of Peace, we can only give back what we have experienced, so this is another learning lesson in life about expectations we have of others and to let go of the pain of rejection.

I'm happy today that I am able to move forward - feeling better physically and mentally! Thanks to ALL of you for your supportive comments AND ancourageing phone calls.

This experience got me to thinking about how other women often get the brunt of rejection and feel hurt and alone with no one to turn to. I have such a TEAM of family and friends when I reach out. You are always there.

I'm planning to start a CLUB called the SOS CLub. (BAP started the idea in his comment on the other story.) SOS stands for Sisters of Sunshine. Anyone can be a member. It is Women helping Women! I'll create a(nother) website for this purpose and make up hundreds of cards (cheap through my vista account) and we could spread them out like snowflakes - or raindrops depending on where you live! The card could entitle any woman who has the card to be a memeber of the SOS Club, and our TEAM will be on stand-by to offer encouragement (through the site, I think).
Any ideas would be welcome. The more people who offer ideas, the better we will become. Maybe we could start a SOS Club where we live and set a time and place for socialization for those who like things like that. (Clay Feet's idea. Hafta to give credit to BAP and Clay Feet for their ideas too.)
I'll keep you posted.
Last time I wrote this, it wouldn't post and I lost it. That one was better - as they always are! Hope this works!
Love, Linda

Linda M. said...

Thanks "the Cat's Meow". We posted our comments at the exact same second, so I hadn't read your note when I posted about the SOS Club.

Your loving sister

Juanita said...

I had thought I would answer the church survey and add these comments.
Question
1. Yes SDA is a dooms day religion.
2-3. SDA's think they are the only RIGHT ones.
4-5. SDA's believe they are more special to God.
6-7. SDA's lead you to believe that no other religion is right and that others will have a hard time getting to heaven because they do not have the TRUTH.
8. SDA's think they are so special that the world is going to notice them and then persecute them.
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BUT THEN I READ todays "Insight of the Day"
---------------------------------
If You Can't Say Something Nice
"Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you." Not so, according to Joseph Telushkin in his profoundly impactful book, Words That Hurt, Words That Heal.
Harsh criticism, snide sarcasm, nasty nicknames, and thoughtless gossip and rumors can inflict deep and lasting harm on individuals and their relationships. Some of the worst and most enduring pains we've suffered were caused by words.
What's more, Telushkin says, most of us say hurtful things about others much more than we realize. He challenges readers to go 24 hours without saying an unkind word to or about anyone. I flunked.
He's particularly down on gossip. Although we justify it as harmless and entertaining chatter, many things we say about others are fundamentally unkind and often unfair. Even worse, as anyone knows who has been the target of someone else's digs, jabs, and judgments, whether the gossip is innocent, insensitive, or malicious, the result is often the same: hurt feelings and damaged reputations and relationships.
Next time you're tempted to say unkind things about another - either to them or behind their back - ask yourself:
* What is the point and purpose? Is there any good that could come of these remarks?
* Could my words create or reinforce negative opinions that could harm or hurt the person I'm talking about?
* Would I be comfortable if the object of my gossip overheard my comments?
Tact, timing, and tone are all important. When we start being more responsible for our words, we realize the wisdom of the old adage: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
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and I thought maybe I should keep my survey answers off of their website. I realize I have still expressed non-positive thoughts, but I kept it between just us :)LOL

Linda M. said...

Juanita, In response to your comments, another of which I think is actually posted after the Shattered Glass Story...(I get them all in one email box.)
I guess that's why I'm torn between keeping the story up or taking it down.

But, there must be a classification for this that is not 'gossip' or 'harming the person I'm writing about'. It's an expression of a negative experience that many others have gone through - as you can identify with along with others who have written.

At least two of you have questioned why I would consider going to church. If I'm not looking for more religion and I surely can get 'God' in nature, why who expose myself to hurt and frustation at a place that has proven to be a very 'negative experience' for me in the past - althought I tend to remember a lot of positive experiences there too, but then I was always involved in the leadership more than most.

I tried to answer that in red at the top of the story, but not sure I made my point well enough.

I'm missing that camaraderie - a favorite word I finally learned how to spell - a sharing together in unity that USED to be a part of church serevice for me. Perhaps that can never be again and some of you 'see' that more than I do.

But I'm starting to agree with most of my friends and family members...Perhaps I AM looking in the wrong place(s). And my expectations are misplaced.

The story has indeed shown me that many kind people are out there with love in their hearts.

More than all of the above, maybe there is a Karma that needs to be brought to full circle here.

I will write more about that later.
Thanks for all your comments.
~Linda