May 11, 2007

Diaries Live Forever

My first 5-year diary started in 1964...

I’m writing off the cuff here after working 20 hours of the last 36 but feeling a relief instead of being dog tired. Funny, how much a happy, rewarding job can bring invigoration and strength! I love working with the mentally retarded, developmental disabled (MRDD) clients again. (This is my 3-week, full-time day job.) But, I don’t want to loose my baby case, so I’m trying to do both on some days!

Today, the second nurse was at a meeting all day, so I was alone in the nurses’ office except for a steady stream of headaches and stomachaches all wanting Tylenol and a big hug! Since I don’t know very many by name yet, I had to make a game of getting them to tell me their first and last name and being able to understand the language of MRDD. Several offered to stay at the nursing office all day and assist me getting the ID’s straight and finding Band-Aids, nail clippers and other supplies I needed, but couldn’t seem to locate. Helping themselves, they opened the correct drawer or cupboard or box to find what I needed. “It’s their world and they master it.”

Still, I stayed on time with medications and other treatments that were due. The other staff commented at end of day that I did a great job today! Most didn’t know MY name, but they knew I had done a good job…Maybe it was the smile!

At the mailbox on the way home, I got several letters from long-time friends. One especially I was worried about because I had sent her my book and had not heard from her in several months. I was holding my breath because she has known me for many, many years, and she had every right to be critical of the memoir! She is a Laurelbrook graduate too.

I closed my eyes as I tore open the letter and almost asked Jim to read it first. Quickly scanning it for telling words, I began at the top and was pleasantly surprised.

She wrote, “Your story really touched my heart. I enjoyed reading the whole book. You sure are a detailed person, keeping a record of every detail.” She commented that it was amazing to think you know someone, yet not know they lived that kind of childhood. She adds, “Thank-you so much for the book.” (whew again)

Another friend from here in Ohio, whom I used to work with, sent me a note telling me that her sister surprised her with the purchase of my book as a gift and she enjoyed it cover to cover. (To Authorhouse Publishing. Someone HAS bought my book!)

On the other hand, I can’t resist confiding a secret.. More than one source has informed me that my “X” is telling people that my book is, “full of lies”. Those same people tell me that he said he has not read the book. Too bad. Making a judgment about a book you have not read is quite hypocritical.

Notice I’m not naming names here because if I was, in a few days one could type names into google and come up with this blogsite. That is not my desire.

But I do wonder if in the eventide days of Mr. “X”, as he sits in the old rocking chair with his March 2035 Time Magazine on his lap to hide the book he’s secretly reading, if he will be surprised at how very true the story is. Memories will come rushing out at him that he has almost forgotten over the last 45 “good years”. Words from my old diary pages will refresh his memory and perhaps bring a tear or two as he is reminded of how kind I really was to him. And, how very true the story was!

When one is old enough to be able to look back with the wisdom of a lifetime, life takes on a whole new meaning.

I don’t believe Mr. “X” ever knew about my childhood as it really was. Most of the old book will be a ‘surprise’ about the woman he was married to for almost 23 years.

On page 237, I wrote, “Today, many years after our divorce, “X” is probably as happy as he will ever be and I am happier than I have ever been.”
Happy Mother's Day, Mom


Anonymous said...

I am signed up for a newsletter that sends me an insight of the day to my email every day.

Today they had something that Steve Goodier had wrote, so I visited his website:
I thought of you and how you always say "Take Care on the Journey" and it seemed perfect to go along with this blog entry; when I read the story below.

Joy in the Journey
If you have ever been discouraged because of failure, please read on. For often, achieving what you set out to do is not the important thing. Let me explain.

Two brothers decided to dig a deep hole behind their house. As they were working, a couple of older boys stopped by to watch.

"What are you doing?" asked one of the visitors.

"We plan to dig a hole all the way through the earth!" one of the brothers volunteered excitedly.

The older boys began to laugh, telling the younger ones that digging a hole all the way through the earth was impossible. After a long silence, one of the diggers picked up a jar full of spiders, worms and a wide assortment of insects. He removed the lid and showed the wonderful contents to the scoffing visitors. Then he said quietly and confidently, "Even if we don't dig all the way through the earth, look what we found along the way!"

Their goal was far too ambitious, but it did cause them to dig. And that is what a goal is for - to cause us to move in the direction we have chosen; in other words, to set us to digging!

But not every goal will be fully achieved. Not every job will end successfully. Not every relationship will endure. Not every hope will come to pass. Not every love will last. Not every endeavor will be completed. Not every dream will be realized. But when you fall short of your aim, perhaps you can say, "Yes, but look at what I found along the way! Look at the wonderful things which have come into my life because I tried to do something!"

It is in the digging that life is lived. And I believe it is joy in the journey, in the end, that truly matters.

"Keep on Digging"

Linda M. said...

How true! What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. I say, "Yes, but look what I found along the way."

You are a good friend for me.
Love, Linda

Bringer of Peace said...

It was so good to see you recently. I am so glad you had a safe trip. I am also thankful you have continued to be blessed.