March 25, 2008

Can I Have This Dance?

(I love that song...And it's going through my head tonight)

Did I accomplish anything good today? It's after my bedtime. Hubby is already there (sleeping). I refuse to close up shop until I've come to a conclusion about this day. I suppose I want to conclude that the day was good and worthwhile, and that comfort is not coming so easily tonight.

My written words both here and other areas seem to have done nothing but beat me up.

Well-intended actions got dumped into the wrong shoot.

Time spend in worry about what I've done right and what I will do next time occupied way too much of my mind.

Have you ever had one of those days? Or, do you have them every day? Perhaps, lucky you, NEVER have one of those days!

Except for a promise from The Company to re-do my performance evaluation 'yesterday', I've heard nothing - good or bad. I even dressed nicer for work in case my boss came by. Not that he/she should have or anything. Guess I thought a little bit of effort might be put into making sure 'everything was okay'. Clayfeet was probably right in his comment.... I just wish I hadn't mentioned it at all.

Then, an e-mail of sorts was taken the wrong way - and turned around and taken the wrong way again. I deleted a dear (young immature) relative from my MySpace site because I didn't like her language that could be picked up at my place. Now the email is circulating that defines me as "BAD" and "getting forgetful" in an effort to make the young immature relative feel better. That's to assume I'm actually GOOD and MATURE enough to take the inference in good nature. If you're confused, I am too. All to be taken in the good spirit that I am. (Nice try.) I just wish it hadn't happened at all.

Now the profound and disturbing question remains as to who I want listed as 'friends' on MySpace, or should I just delete the entire site because linking to friends (who are mostly cherished relatives) could result in viewing material quite unrelated to the Puritanical site I host at Dusty Angel MySpace? (Yep, that was a question.)

Hubby says I should keep my site up (He likes it) and write a disclaimer if I'm worried about someone linking to soft porn (soft?) or vulgar language. We came up with something we like. It is: Oooops. I'll have to insert that quote later because I've just lost my server!

Here it is: DISCLAIMER: Clicking other sites listed here is solely the responsibliity of the clicker. Linked sites may not represent the Puritanical environment found here at Dusty Angel MySpace. Laugh if you want to. It pleases us, and gives me an out to allow unconditional friends.

By the way, I tried editing with the editing tools they offer, and seems I've really messed up my page at MySpace. I'm hoping tomorrow will find it all in perfect order but so far tonight it is overwritten and out of sync. UGGG. URRRR

In another frustrating area today, the second nursing agency company that I work for a few days a year, asked me if I could work at a facility where I went last year because they asked for me by name. This is two weeks in September. No. They didn't ASK for me by name, they said I PROMISED to work those two weeks for them, according to the scheduler who called and asked if I could work there.

1) I don't PROMISE anyone I'll be there in 9 months! That's why I work for agencies. So, I can take off when one case is done and get a break. And, I don't live my life expecting that I will even ALIVE after a minute from this moment. So, I don't promise anyone my presence in human form nine months from now. Although I'm sure I told them I'd like to and would try my best.

2) I don't WORK for this facility, so I can't promise them anything. I work for the agency who decides if they want to ask me if I want to go.

To make a long story short (so you will keep reading - if anyone is reading this) I told the agency I'd do it, then I remembered that I don't promise ANYONE my presence in the future, so I called them back and said "no" I can't promise September.

All that confusion for nothing too. Funny part is, the agency had already told another nurse she could do it. They were actually very glad when I called back and said no.... How about some quality communication while we're at it?

Very early this morning, I should have known the happy goddess was still sleeping because the dogs wanted out THREE TIMES in the half-hour I gave myself to get ready for work. And, both Sheba and Ching-Ching just wanted to lie down on the porch and watch for the little spring rabbit that hides in the tall grass at the edge of the yard. CC has already broken several expensive leashes by dashing off after the rabbit...

Then, while trying to do the first kind deed of the day, I had stopped and picked up an extra large (32 ounce) Pepsi for the mom where I work. I held it tightly in the cup holder until I stopped at the house where I work with a little more step on the brake then I indented and it went crashing to the floor of the van.

As I was getting out of the van holding the dripping cup in my hand, a car slowed and stopped beside me. Bracing for something bad about to happen and wishing I had something bigger then an empty paper cup to defend myself, I heard a lady's voice saying, "If you're going to buy yourself breakfast, why not get some for the poor old lady who lives across the street."

"This is empty and it's not for me," I said with a bittersweet smile.

The two things that stand out as "feel-good" things have nothing to do with me, and one would never have guessed this would make me smile. My sitemeter showed that my two 'faithful readers" stopped by my site. I'm sure they didn't stay but a few seconds because there was nothing new posted, but the best I can do for this day is to say "Thank-you Bonnie and Katy". I appreciate others who stop by too, but sometimes I can't tell who everyone is and these two women don't get any benefit from 'my presence' these days. They still stop by to see what's in the toaster.

Say a little blessing (or whatever you do) for my little sister's husband that he will feel better and can go back to work soon.

Take Care on the Journey,
Love, Linda



Katy said...

Hi Mama Linda,

I'm sorry you had such a challenging day yesterday. Days like that just seem to wear me down until I feel so heavy that I can barely move sometimes! I always enjoy reading your blog, so thank you for continuing to post even when things are rough for your or when you lose your whole post from computer problems. I know you built up lots of karma yesterday from doing good deeds, so good for you! Take care and I'm thinking about you.


The Cat's Meow said...

With such your heck-et day you still had time to send well wishes for my hubby, thanks. I put ice ,finally, on him and he went to work today.
As for MySpace websites I just don't understand how a little skin and Four letter words can cause such turmoil!! but putting YOUR disclamier is a good idea. Don't send anyone to mine if they don't like alittle SKIN showing.
love ya,