May 27, 2008

99-Percent Angel

On MySpace, there’s a dropdown box where you can select your “mood”. I haven’t counted all the selections, but I’m sure that most of the choices they give you to choose from are negative. Of my 10 ‘friends’ whose moods are posted at MySpace, I have “Fermented, Tired, Drained and Restless". Then, "Jubilant, Chipper, Relaxed, Satisfied and Okay". I'm always concerned when one of my friends list their mood as really negative, but I guess that’s the name of the game. Me, I always have to post a positive pronoun! If not, I worry about ME! Ha ha. I can’t win, can I?

When you don’t see a posting here for more than a week, you can be confident that I’m not in a good mood. It’s a ‘sign’ that I can’t churn up enough positive thoughts to create a happy story.

I heard that former President Clinton is mad at the press because they don’t give his wife proper coverage. “It’s just terrible,” he complained. Of course, it’s because of the press that she isn’t winning.

Here are some of the ‘terrible” things irritating me right now. That pesky but persistent paper clip thing that keeps tapping on my computer screen. Does it have to remind me every time that I’m not perfect? While I’m at it. I’m frustrated at too many handicapped parking signs. The price of gas. Bad dreams. My dog who won’t stop whining. The chill wind in the air when it’s suppose to be summer. The answering machine that keeps blinking even though I re-taped a message. People who owe ME money. The price of gas (again) – which affects everything these days!

This Memorial Day weekend John and Denise came here to help us combine two storage units into one. We had a cookout and planted some flowers. John worked hard lifting the heavy boxes for us and digging holes for the large plants. They still didn’t bring the grandkids and we still have their Christmas gifts. (And I deleted what I was going to say about that.)

Speaking of the holiday, Billy called on Sunday!!!!! It's always a treat to hear from him. He’s settled into his new home. Sounds like he’s looking forward to a little summer although he’ll still be teaching.

With the left hand (nursing) not knowing what the right hand (business) was doing, I managed to have a day off work today. I had plans to finish planting my flowers and finalize organizing the garage/storage. But, hubby took the van to work early this morning taking with him the garage door opener and all the potting soil. He felt badly when I called him at work asking why he did that. But, feeling sorry didn’t give me my remote and potting soil. Urrrrr

But, the biggest and most frustrating and awful ‘thing’ of the day was when I returned the garage door opener for garage/storage Unit #2 to the office, and was told by the “office” that we had signed a contract for that unit until October. That $75/month fee that we had been so excited to get off our back - thrown right back in our face.

At first I was quietly stoic, but then it hit me that we are the victim of needless red tape, government-type paperwork and we're being treated like brand new tenants who havent been paying rent on time every month for almost three years! It hit me like a stone wall. "Let’s just click on the cuffs! "

“We can’t afford a second unit AND we don’t need it. We have it all cleaned out. We aren’t using it anymore,” I actually wailed at the woman in the office. It was the last straw of a “I-don’t-know-why-I’m-in-a-bad-mood feeling.

“Well, what if all the tenants decided they didn’t want a place to put their car for the summer? We wouldn’t make any money at all!” she flung back at me.

“Nobody uses those units for their car! Those are storage units!”

“Well, you signed the lease for a year.”

“Of course I signed the lease. We couldn’t have gotten the unit without signing the lease!”

By then I was shaking with anger and bawling so badly I could hardly talk, so I turned and walked out of the office. It was just so damn frustrating. We had planned on cleaning it out for the last several months and had stayed home on this three-day holiday especially to get it done! And, it had been such a sigh of relief to get that expense off the budget.

Thinking quickly, I printed up a poster/sign that said. “Garage Available. Immediate Occupancy”. I listed my name and phone number and posted it at the mailbox area. Of course, maintenance having nothing else to do on this cold rainy day, came by and took it down and put it in the trashcan. But, I took it out of the trashcan and stuck it back on the wall. No phone calls, though. Not sure who’s going to win that battle!

June 16 was suppose to be a red letter day in my life. I’ll also keep this one short, but I considered started the RN course at a new school that opened up close to home. The courses are very simple. No algebra or chemistry! But, I only had two weeks to get ready and I just couldn’t let go of everything I’m doing that quickly and go to school full-time for the next year. Hubby was disappointed. He thought it was the chance of a lifetime. Perhaps it was. I’m hoping by the next time the course comes around, I’ll be ready. In the meantime, I’m sad that it didn’t happen.

28 days ago I did start something new. Some of you know (but most of you don’t) that I cut my nursing back a few hours and took a part-time position assisting with the business promotion program at Dr. Granger's office. Since then, the New Albany part of the business was sold (to a nice young couple) and they aren't hiring new employees. If I continue with this venture, I must work out of the other office that is a further away.

I’ve decided to sell my portable photography studio including White Lightning Studio Lights and nice film camera with all the lens, but can’t decide what it’s worth. Think I'll post it on Craig's List here in Columbus. I'm still doing some on-location photography, but I'm sure I'll never go back to a big-dream, full-time studio. Another slight annoyance is the "Office Space for Rent" sign that's been posted next to my former studio building here in New Albany. Every time we drive by, we check to see if my pretty sparkling curtains are still in the window - and they are. A golden/red reminder of a dream that slipped away.

I made a list of 11 things to do today. Writing on the blog was not one of them. I got five of the eleven items done. This afternoon the maintenance men manually opened the garage so I could work in there. It was too cold to plant flowers anyway. That sorting took longer than I had expected but I got all the nasty old boxes sorted and repacked in plastic containers. What I didn't get done was to write up ads for the studio sale and an electric stove we want to sell. Also, getting a package ready for Billy. After sending Sandy a birthday package that cost $47 first class (I didn't send it first class), I'm saving up for Billy's (housewarming) package. Another Urrrrr.

First on today's list was to decide what to fix for supper. By suppertime (and beyond), I hadn’t decided, so we ordered pizza and a sub. No wonder we keep packing our nice clothes away!

It’s almost midnight. The dog is finally quiet. Hubby is (hopefully) sleeping well. The price of gas went up a dime while I was writing this! Flowers can wait another day.

I wish I could write like a Redneck.

I’d say, “You know what bugs me? You know what really curls my iron? It’s cleaning out the garage and having to look at your life packed away in old water-stained brown boxes falling apart at the seams! It’s tossing stiff yellowed family pictures into the trash because I'm the last one to want them. It's finding a purse-full of old name tags bearing witness to the many 'hats" I've worn and places I've worn them! It’s being blasted with a huge photo of grandma Mascunana eating a messy ice-cream cone and realizing that was the last time I ever saw her! Youngest son with his first puppy. Oldest son in a bad mood. Everybody’s graduation pictures but mine! Thousands of photography business cards too precious to throw away, but too useless to keep. Beautiful blouses that don’t fit anymore - with hope that they will! A pristine old Bible that does not belong to me. Hundreds of pens that don’t write anymore. An child's diary started for Billy when he was five-years old with nothing past the first page. My favorite pair of sunglasses - I think they cost $100 at the South Bend Mall many long years ago!

And, down in the very bottom of the pile, an old set of keys with a silver key ring that says, "99 Percent Angel" A sweet reminder that I’m part of the universe. I can’t put that part in a box or give it back. It won't get old and won't change no matter how I feel about myself. Part of the universe.
Part Angel. 1-percent what? Hopefully, just dreams gone off into the sunset.

Take Care on the Journey,



SANDY ZIKE said...

yea Linda is REALLY hard to be chipper these days! Bush really screw up the USA by going to war, hopefully Obama will win and clean up the mess Clinton & Bush has made. WE DO NEED A CHANGE!!! I've try to cut back on everything but
gas & food keep going up more then I can cut back. I even used my mothers day money for food.
enough of the sad talk.
I'm going today to see Wendy at work for a free lunch, she working for Checkers, today at Gandy store.
They are building a CVS where the egg platter was and a wal mart next to Macy's (across from kash & karry on gandy)
I love you and as always enjoyed talking to you yesterday.
Did I mention that gas keeps going UP!!!

Katy said...

Hi Linda,
I'm sorry that you're having a frustrating week- that sucks! I always know when I need a break or some space because the little things make me really irritated (like my shoe comes untied- silly!). I hope you get some space and time to relax soon and that things stop being so darn annoying. (grin)